If...?

If you can chop up chicken breast filets,
into sizeable chunks for a fork,
If you can wield the knife with equal ease,
and strip up some of that pork,
If you can boil up water,
and add a touch of turmeric spice,
And put the boil-in-bag rice bags in,
My son, that would be nice!

If you can put in a little bowl,
about half a jar of Mixed Pickle,
If you get those Nans out of their plastic,
and bake 'em though they're brickle,
If you can twist open a jar of Korma,
and pour it over the filets when they're done,
And set the table while your at it,
You'll have "done us a curry", my son.